The Indiana Pacers have Forgotten the Meaning of the Word Offense
Boy oh boyyyyyyy ladies and gents. These past 2 games have legitimately been some of the worst games that I have ever watched in my 20+ years of watching the sport. Just disgusting displays of incompetent basketball. I have calmed myself down since the game and I am going to try to not get re-mad as I type all of this out. Alright let’s do this.
The Pacers are addicted to missing 3 pointers. They get their rocks off by making one pass, MAYBE a dribble move, and then shooting a 27-footer. And guess what? They haven’t hit SHIT. They haven’t hit fucking shit. My god I feel like I’m going mental watching this. Am I crazy? Is any of this even real?? No, no. Remember, no more getting mad.
Let’s take a look at some numbers I guess. God. Fuck this shit. I don’t even want to write about them anymore. I’m going to start writing about stuff that actually makes me happy like video games and 2000’s children shows. I am seriously considering going on a basketball hiatus for a week. No NBA, no college, no dribbling balls of any kind. I can’t keep putting myself through this agony. I must find a way to make myself care less about this team. Oh right, the numbers. Let’s take a look if you want to wallow in self-pity along with me..
Over the last 2 games the Pacers are shooting a super smooth 17–74 from behind the 3 point line for an incredible 23% percent hit rate. Do you want to know their shooting percentage from inside the arc during the last 2 games? 53 PERCENT. I am no basketball guru… but if my team was making well over twice as many 2-pointers as they were 3-pointers I would probably shoot more 2-pointers than 3-pointers.
During the 4th quarter of these last two games your Indiana Pacers shot a combined 27 three pointers. Do you know how many of those they made combined in these very close and winnable games?? THREE. They made THREE OUT OF FUCKING 27 ATTEMPTS from behind the arc. That is 11 percent for all of you math wizards out there. Granted, during that same span the Pacers only shot 5–14 from inside the line for an awful 36%. But hey, guess what! You don’t have to have a degree in mathematical engineering to understand that 36% of 2 points is better than 11% of 3 points. Not to even mention the DRASTIC increase in free throw rate when you bring the ball inside of the arc. Alright. Getting a little mad, time to reel it back in.
I know, I know. I am a lunatic for even suggesting that we stray away from the almighty 3 pointer. Because surely if the team is down 5 points with 4 minutes left, the only possible way on earth to make up that difference is to shoot 26-foot 3’s off the dribble. That’s literally the only possible way ON FUCKING EARTH to cut the lead. Surely we couldn’t give it to our All-Star who is one of the best post players in the entire league. Why give it to him? He’s only shooting 66 percent inside the fucking 3 point line this year. Surely he couldn’t do anything to help us score. He was 4–6 from the paint last night, but why would we try to throw it down there to him? That would never work, what the fuck am I thinking?? I would much rather watch Malcolm or Justin force a 3 that you can tell from launch does not have a chance to go in. That is much more entertaining to watch. I love it, keep doing that. Alright fuck it, I am mad again.
The Pacers are in the bottom half of league when it comes to 3 point percentage. Do you know where they rank among 2 point percentage? Fourth. FOURTH. Do I need to spell it out for them? Should I make a Prezi presentation, go to Gainbridge, duck tape them all in chairs, and force them to hear these facts? Cause I will do it. I live very close. This would hardly be an inconvenience for me. I’ll go stand outside the arena and scream it into a megaphone, “SHOOT MORE FUCKING SHOTS INSIDE OF THE THREE POINT LINE.”
I am growing seriously tired of watching this team already. They just don’t understand the fact that when you are down in a close game it is OKAY to try to get to the rim. You are legally allowed to try to feed into the post. Hell, you can even shoot a mid-range shot if you want. Go nuts. I just don’t get why they are addicted to throwing up 3 pointers in close games. That is why, in my opinion, the Indiana Pacers have forgotten the meaning of the word offense.
